i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
