I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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