Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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