Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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