Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
