idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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