i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
