the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
