Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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