Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
