Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize