At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
