i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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