i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
