i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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