"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
