So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
