yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
