New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Someone stole a lamp last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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