she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
