I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
