respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
