I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
