He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
