maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
