Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
