her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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