I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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