you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
