When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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