Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
