The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
