i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
