Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize