That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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