I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
