In the future we'll all be gay
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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