I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
