Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
