I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
