nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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