Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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