I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
