Yo dont text me then not text me
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
