i just wanna soil my oats bro
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Fuck appropriateness.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
