there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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