woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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