she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
