I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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