oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Naked Twister starts at high noon
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
be right there i have to get my cape
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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