You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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