do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
