Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
