i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
