hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
