If i come over, it means nothing
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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