I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
