I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize