Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
