They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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