carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
