but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
