Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize