You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
