Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner

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(646): View more from New York

maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.

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(913): View more from Kansas

the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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(407): View more from Florida

at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions

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(513): View more from Ohio

I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.

(440): View more from Ohio

...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.

(513): View more from Ohio

That was a text you sent me last night.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just found puke in my bra..

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(903): View more from Texas

I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card

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(425): View more from Washington

Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".

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