"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize