Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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