woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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