I love black thongs
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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