i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize