ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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